An essay looking back on six years of young adult cancer survivorship. If cancer were to take me now, if today were my last day, and if this were my last sunrise, how would I feel right now?
Cancer Is Not Just Rogue Cells - And Not Just Inside the Patient
As I approach six years of cancer survivorship, never has it been more clear to me that cancer is not just a disease of our physical bodies, but a disease of our minds and souls as well. Thus, the argument that many make, is that cancer is not just a matter of eradicating the rogue cells from one's body, but of curing the entire patient.
If You Plant Flowers, You'll Get Flowers
I’ve been saying for a while now that our attitudes and beliefs are self-fulfilling prophecies. If you believe in yourself with all of your heart and soul, and try to be the best person that you can be every day to overcome your challenges, that eventually you’ll find the paths forward that you need. An open mind and an open heart will find what a closed one will not.
Negotiating Surveillance and Long-Term Follow-up for Testicular Cancer
The National Comprehensive Cancer Network (NCCN) Guidelines for are the bible by which Testicular Cancer patients are treated and managed. The follow-up care recommendations within these guidelines only goes out to 5 years, and even within those 5 years, there's been some significant adjustments to the recommendations over time. It's entirely possible that if you were diagnosed with testicular cancer within the past few years, that you might be able to make some adjustments to your follow-up schedules in favor of fewer scans or appointments, but what do you do after that? It's up to you and can go on a case-by-case basis. Here are some answers.
On The Power of Writing to Help You Heal
Writing about cancer and all of this inner pain that it had brought into my life has never been easy, but the rewards for doing so have always far outweighed the hardship. It's one of the hardest, but also simultaneously one of the best things I've ever done.
Fall In Love With Souls, Not Faces
This, right here, is beautiful. This is Rachel Farnsworth of The Stay at Home Chef, responding to some mean-spirited comments about her gray hair and "looking old". Give it a watch.
Inaugural 2017 Winter Portraits
The first real snow of the year, I always love to get photos of our kids, Katie and William, running through the snow as it comes down. Katie didn't want to play, so leave it to William to get all of the glory. Photos taken with my Canon 5D Mark II and 135mm f/2L prime lens, shot at full aperture. Enjoy! :)
StevePake.com Awarded as a Top Cancer Blog of 2016 by IHadCancer.com
"Steve has a way of taking ordinary experiences and turning them over to reveal a side we had never seen before. Time and time again he has united the IHadCancer community with his work as he writes about the subtle ways cancer affects us years after we're given our NED card.
Best for: finding the strength to push through the physical and emotional challenges of a post-cancer new normal."
Finish 2016 And Be Done With It
I had to borrow one of my favorite Emerson quotes and adapt it to move on from last year. "Finish 2016 and be done with it. you have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. 2017 is a New Year. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense from 2016."
Year in Photo 2016
Love Your Fucking Life
It's Okay If Other People Don't Understand Your Life
I don't expect other people to be able to understand my life, my values, nor what I believe in. They've not had these experiences for themselves, and even I struggle to wrap my head around all that life has put my family and I through. It's okay. I no longer worry about being the only one, or that other people don't understand. What's important is love and not judgement, and dialog and not assumption.
Unplug Yourself
Disconnect and let yourself to recharge, but let this also be a time of reckoning. Remember that we all want so many of the same things, but merely disagree on how to get there. We all have a story that brings us to where we are in life. If people can't respect that story, your story, then perhaps they're not worthy of your time and energy.
Scorpio Cancer Survivor Problems - Betrayal
Of all the signs, Scorpios are said to handle betrayal the worst, and it's true. So true. Most people come to know feelings of betrayal from failed friendships and relationships. As awful as any of these things are, you can distance yourself from people who have hurt you or cut ties entirely, but what about when it's your own body that's betrayed you? A cancer diagnosis is the worst possible betrayal one can face, as it's our own bodies cheating on us with death. What do you do then? How do you get away? You can't.
You Will Survive
It's October 27th, 2016. I'm 39 years old today, and I've never seen anything that's described what my life has been like as a cancer survivor over the past few years in such few words, and with such a simple illustration as this. When I was diagnosed with testicular cancer at the age of 33, I thought my life was over, and that I wasn't going to survive. But I survived.
You Can Go Through a Great Deal of Darkness, Yet Become Something Beautiful
A follower made a post, and asked an intriguing question. She asked, if you could go back and change just one thing in your life, would you? If you did, would that change make your life better? Or, was the one thing that was tearing you apart so intensely, the catalyst for the most intense breakthrough, change, and growth in your life that you could ever have imagined?"
St Lucia 2012
Four years ago this week, my wife and I enjoyed a blissful 5 days and 4 nights in St Lucia at the famous Ladera Resort, which has been recognized as a UNESCO World Heritage site. We needed this so badly. We had been through complete hell. We loved and cherished every second of this trip. Something about being in paradise and on island time helping you to get back in touch with the one you love, and getting your love and romance burning at full force again after so much hardship.
