Nine years ago this month, I had just finished 4 brutal rounds of chemotherapy fighting testicular cancer, and was on deck for a highly invasive surgery the next month in June. You might be surprised to learn that this was all the “easy” part of my cancer fight. What was hard was overcoming all of the mental health issues that many cancer survivors experience in the aftermath, such as anxiety, depression, and even PTSD symptoms. Learning to overcome all of this at a younger age has perhaps left me better prepared for other challenges in life, including the COVID-19 pandemic, so here are some mental health pointers for Mental Health Awareness Month.
The first step in overcoming a painful situation is acceptance. Just like my cancer diagnosis so long ago, there’s no sense in asking how or why it was all happening. “These things can happen” is as good of an answer as one is ever going to get. Years ago it was cancer. This year it’s a global pandemic. Okay then…
Next, accept whatever it is that you’re feeling inside. “It’s okay to not be okay.” This is a painful situation for many, especially for those that may have lost someone. Be your own best friend and advocate, and allow whatever it is that you’re feeling to process, without beating yourself up for it. Never be ashamed of what you feel. We’re all human and feel so many of the same things inside.
Just turn off the news, or if you must, stick with your local news once per day as a maximum. Local news tends to be more grounded and relevant for situations like these, far less sensationalized, and thus better for one’s mental health and managing your local situation.
Be present in your lives. Don’t allow yourself to be haunted by what happened yesterday, nor worry about what might not ever happen tomorrow. Focus on the here and now, and do your best to make today as productive and enjoyable as you can. Deal with tomorrow when it comes.
Do something that will put a smile on your face every day. This is a year to truly appreciate the little things and small moments in life. We might not be able to go everywhere, nor do everything we want this year, but it doesn’t mean we can’t find other ways to enjoy our lives, and often they’re right under our noses. This won’t just uplift yourself, but others around you as well.
Get some fresh air and exercise at least once per day. Go for a walk, a run, or a bike ride, and keep your body moving. Fresh air, the wind on your face, and a change of scenery will all work wonders not just physically, but mentally as well.
Keeping busy with healthy and productive hobbies and outlets are important. Especially during my earlier years after cancer, an idle mind was an extremely dangerous thing in that it allowed all of the anxieties and worries to creep back in. I continue to enjoy my photography hobby, long bike rides with my kids, more time with my family, my backyard fire pit, doing a little writing, and a road trip here and there when we can manage one. I don’t give myself time to worry, and no amount of worrying about cancer ever truly helped my situation. Worrying just made me miserable in the present, and it’s no different for COVID-19.
Socially distance yourselves from toxic people as well. There are some people, especially on social media, who just can’t help but go on and on about how awful everything is. Our attitudes and beliefs are self-fulfilling prophecies in many ways, and so these negative thoughts are often reflections of what’s inside of these individuals. Choose to believe positive things, and surround yourselves with more positive people, and distance yourselves from those that are less than that. You deserve better.
Take some time off when you need it. It’s not a good thing that we’ve all been stressed out and worried, while also working ourselves into the ground in remote or home “office” setups that are often far less than ideal, and unable to take the vacations that many of us had planned. Take some time off anyway. We all need mental breaks and some down time to avoid mental burnout, and you can do that no matter where you are physically.
Breathe. There are all sorts of numbers out there, but the bottom line is this. While the coronavirus is definitely much worse than the common flu, the vast majority of people are not going to get it, and the vast majority of those who do are going to be fine in the end, especially if you’re aged 60 or under and have no chronic underlying health conditions. Be smart, follow the latest guidelines, live a healthy lifestyle, and believe and have faith that things will all work out in the end.
Best,
Steve Pake
