Of all the signs, Scorpios are said to handle betrayal the worst, and it's true. So true.
Most people come to know feelings of betrayal from failed friendships and relationships. As awful as any of these things are, you can distance yourself from people who have hurt you or cut ties entirely, but what about when it's your own body that's betrayed you? A cancer diagnosis is the worst possible betrayal one can face, as it's our own bodies cheating on us with death. What do you do then? How do you get away? You can't. A Scorpio will want nothing more than to rid themselves of anything or anybody that has betrayed them, but when it's our own bodies that have betrayed us, we're simply trapped. Even worse, we have to learn to live with the fact that our bodies could betray us and try to start killing us again, if our cancers were to come back. This is a tough reality for any cancer survivor to live with, but it's especially hard for a Scorpio who values trust and loyalty above all else.
It took me a very long time - measured in years - to even start to feel any sort of security in my life again. Imagine waking up everyday feeling terrified to varying degrees because your own body had betrayed you in such a terrible way, and you have no means to escape or isolate yourself. This broke me, and even five years later, I still don't feel safe in my own body. Once trust is broken with a Scorpio, it's difficult to ever regain it.
I came to realize that I was never meant to trust my body again, and that I was wrong to have ever trusted my body in the first place. There are so many diseases and cancers out there that can strike anyone, at any age, even without any risk factors. Life is a precious gift that isn't meant to be wasted, and I had to learn how to play the game a different way.
It's not the years in your life that matter, but rather the life in your years.
I hadn't really been living my life, and needed to start. I live the life that I do with my family, a life rich with travel, adventure, love, fun, and friends, not because I'm still afraid of cancer, but because I've been so betrayed, and can never trust my own body again. I finally had to teach myself how to forgive, just so that I could let go of things and start to move on, but I can never forget. Yesterday it was testicular cancer; tomorrow it could be something else. There's no real guarantees for our health, there never were in the first place, and never will be.
I had to grow beyond my body. What I have full faith in today are my spiritual beliefs, that we're more than our bodies, and that we have some place to go after we leave this physical realm. These spiritual beliefs are what I have full faith in today, and no matter what might happen to my body, those beliefs can never be taken from me. I can't trust my body again, and so today I have full trust in my beliefs.
StevePake.com
